New Year Letter (2021)

Greetings,

If I had to give 2020 an overarching theme, I’d summarize it with one word: depth. And for the most part, I embraced the calling to dig in.

In late 2019, I moved to a new neighborhood with a new roommate while starting in a new classroom at work. I think on paper, facing a mandatory stay at home order with someone you met and moved in with a little over 3 months prior sounds like it’s set up to implode, but I am thankful to have been “stuck” with Maire-Kate. There are some aspects of staying home that I have enjoyed a lot. Together, we navigated extended hours at home by becoming weekday workout buddies, Tik Tok co-stars, and frequently awaited the arrival of our Quarantine Purchases. We assembled deck furniture and found ourselves spending many evenings this summer laying out, reading, and sipping on a drink or two. I think we are both now self-proclaimed Mixologists. Luckily, Maire-Kate embraces my organization, so I have been caught reorganizing the closets, cupboards, and rooms more than once. I also woke up one day and decided I hated my bedroom and bathroom decor. So, I took it all down and created an interior design project for myself. The project has been both exciting and infuriating. Very fitting to the theme of the year.

For me, one challenge of physical distancing is that I’ve had to face the fact that I am a worthy human being even at rest. That is not an easy task for this “do-er.” I am thankful to have learned more self acceptance on my rest days. Actually, one of my 2020 New Year Resolutions was, “be positive.” Like most I’m sure, I got a good laugh from looking back at my resolutions after the hundredth unmet expectation of 2020. But, I was determined to fight onward towards my goal. To get to the root of my goal, I turned towards my mental health. I relied on old tools like gratitude, jumped into the Enneagram, and committed to challenging my negative self talk. I even made the decision to try sobriety in September. While I make no promises on the future success of that commitment, it has been dignifying to face each day in the last three months knowing I am investing in my mental health by removing a major chemical barrier. So, while I may have miserably failed at being positive (because let’s face it, we all know that is just not who I am as a person), I am being a heck of a lot kinder to myself, which I think will go down as a victory in my biography.

Fortunately, in between frequent rest days, Maire-Kate and I have been able to hike a few trails and we decided to adopt a kitten. We picked River up on June 24 after many months of searching and many devastating application denials. I got the call in the morning, left work early, and we were home with our River Girl by evening. Her and Floyd’s dynamic resembles siblings more so than friends, but we find that Floyd is much more fulfilled with a playmate and River is happy to be in a household with limitless snuggles. Floyd had a couple health scares this year, which I might note as my lowest points. But, since a change in diet, both River and Floyd haven’t missed a beat in their daily (Read: middle of the night) shenanigans.

I mentioned my work in a new classroom earlier, but that wasn’t the only change that happened in my professional life. I spent the majority of the year working with middle schoolers. My time in this role was valuable as it was filled with celebration and grievances. Eventually, I made the choice to leave the position to step up in my career into a different company. In this transition I have felt sadness, gratitude, joy, relief, pride, excitement, and fear. Currently, I am working in an administration leadership position at a Secure Residential Treatment Facility for adults with severe and persistent mental illnesses. I am enjoying the growth and responsibility in the position. I am fortunate to have found a company whose values and passions match my own.

Speaking of passion, I have heard that the Latin roots of passion mean “suffering.” I’ve always found this to be fascinating, but I’ve found new depth to the connection in 2020. From global pandemics preventing me from visiting my loved ones back home in 18+ months (and counting), facing the threat of a pandemic as a direct care worker, my first experience with forest fires, and bearing witness to a historic social revolution; I understand more than I have in the past that you cannot experience passion without suffering. And in that, I have found joy. My joy has always been in the resiliency and empathy of people, this year just made sure I knew the depth of that truth.

Well, happy blank page, friends. I’m keeping my hope in listening to understand, using critical thinking, challenging ourselves, but mostly in slowing down to be present in compassion. As you find space to reflect on what seems like a Good Riddance, may you be filled with exactly what you need to face what’s around the corner.

Love & light,

Jo