My Month in China

Thank you for supporting and praying for our team during our month in China. We arrived home safe late Thursday night.

I cannot summarize the month that I have experienced; I can only reflect on how powerful and present our God proved to me that he is each and every day.

Before I even applied for the missions trip, I worried that I didn't have enough knowledge-- that I wasn't Christian enough. I had only been resaved in January and applications were due mid-February. In China, God continually pushed me to the end of myself to force me into a place of total dependency on Him where in China, I was able to fully trust and rely on Him to give me wisdom and reflect His character through me.

There was so much joy experienced in China. My friendship with Chen Hui is something that I will cherish forever. She is compassionate, generous, dedicated, wise, and funny. It was incredible to grow so close to her in a short amount of time. We got to celebrate her birthday while we were there!!

God was hard at work softening the hearts of our new friends and that was evident each day. This was the first year that a Bible App was available and many students downloaded it to read on their own time. We experienced steady attendance at our bible studies and there were so many incredible questions that I could clearly see were from true seekers. One volunteer took time to write us each a special verse in our goodbye letter that he had found to be encouraging in his time studying the bible on his own.

At the end of one study,the student leader asked if we should pray-- something we normally do not do because of the typical culture around religion. She said that she wanted to, but she didn't know how to pray and it was so sweet to share with her that there is no right or wrong way and it can be done in any language. It was just like talking to a friend.

There was so much laughter in my life all month long. We hosted a Girls' Night in Leah and my's hotel room where we played ice breakers, painted each other nails, treated ourselves to face masks, and piled into the biggest cuddle puddle I have ever experienced.

Friends taught us Tai Ji and we performed a routine at the talent show a few days before we left. Along with reciting a poem in Chinese, singing, & a few from our team performed a comedy skit!

I think the Koi fish ponds were my favorite. But, God was at work changing me and transforming my heart. He brought me to the end of myself through some hard humbling & some hurt I thought I left back at home. Through breaking me, He grew my patience and my dependency on Him. I grew in my prayer life and grew to be more intentional in my relationships.

At the beginning of the year, I strongly felt that I was challenge to "be present" and it became my theme for the year because most of my deep unhappiness grew from a place of always expecting more out of my surroundings and never being satisfied with where I was at. I thought when Jesus saved me, I grew as much as I could in that challenge because Jesus was fulfilling me in ways I hadn't experienced before, but God knew I hadn't given up total control and He broke me even further.

When we had about a week left in Wuhan, I was done. I was exhausted from lack of alone time and humbling from lack of knowing each other, but living life together 24/7. I was struggling with food sensitivity. I was aching for things my loved ones were experiencing a world away. Classes were trying. I didn't feel like I had seen any breakthrough in bible studies. We only had a week left. What could I do in a week? I decided that I was just going to go on auto pilot until I was back in America snuggled up with my cat.

God asked, "What can you do in a week?" I knew the answer was absolutely nothing. That was humbling enough that I got out of God's way and stood back in awe of how powerful He was in the next week. I witnessed him heal, soften hearts, and bond strong friendships that would outlast any distance that challenged them. I was brought back to being fully present each day by seeking out His character. I was reminded that we were only planting the seeds and God was growing them far further than I could see.

Just like God is with those we left in Wuhan, He was present back home while I was away. I witnessed Him provide for my family and friends. I experienced healing in parts of relationships that I hadn't been letting Him take from me. I found healing in the hurt of people from my past who I've looked to for acceptance and inclusion. I am more convicted about finding my sole identity in Christ and balancing my emotions with His truth. I am more patient. I am quicker to apologize when I am wrong. I am more intentional in my actions.

It is so evident to me that this is my Savior transforming my heart because I spent years fighting alone to understand and heal my hardened heart, my unkind actions and words, and the ugliness that I knew wasn't me. It was until I asked Jesus to fight for me that my heart started to transform. It was only then that He started to reflect His sweet character through me.

I am coming home with the greatest gift-- a growing community of great friends who have now heard how loved they are and who know about His gift of eternal life. Their hearts are golden and I feel so blessed to be walking alongside them. I am so excited for the day that they accept Emmanuel into their hearts. He is so so good.

#china #travel #relationships #reflection